


Just tell me its not the end of the line

by ballumapologist



Series: Ballum [3]
Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Blood clot, Injury, M/M, Seizures
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-15 16:01:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28816020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ballumapologist/pseuds/ballumapologist
Summary: Callum's stressed, and his and Ben's latest argument is only making it worse, and that's when the fitting starts.Set the day of the meeting that never happened (04/01/2021)
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Series: Ballum [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2091888
Comments: 11
Kudos: 29





	1. Stay with me

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Seizures, angst

Callum's stressed. Thompson is back at work and now he's threatening not only him and Ben, but Stuart too. All because the idiot tried to kill him. Jack has offered to help, but its still possible that Callum may be too far gone, in too deep, its possible he could still be sent down for perverting the cause of justice or taking part in an illegal and unauthorised investigation. So Callum does the only thing he can to take the stress away, at least just for a little while, and goes for a run. He just gets out of bed, careful not to wake Ben from his slumber, changes and sneaks out, but what he doesn't know is that his attempt at leaving unnoticed went astray and Ben is quick to follow him. At first he sees that Callum is just on a run and is about to turn around and go back home when he sees Callum come to a stop to talk to Jack Branning.

"Alright, Jack?"

"Look, we've got a meeting, today, with Thompson's boss,"

"What!?" Callum said, sounding distressed.

"We've gotta report this,"

"You said you'd help me out, not throw me under the bus!"

"I've got no choice," Ben was ready to come out and give Jack a piece of his mind for even considering grassing Callum up, but before he got the chance, Callum started talking again, panic evident in his voice.

"Ben will find out," Ben tilted his head at this, his boyfriend's been keeping secrets from him, and for god knows how long, "I'll lose him, I'll lose everything!"

"I can't hide a thing like this, I said right from the start, don't get involved with the Mitchells. I'm sorry Callum, my hands are tied" Jack sighed.

"I thought we were mates,"

"Meeting's at four," and with that Jack turned on his heel and walked away and Callum's face fell. Ben stepped out.

"What was that about?" he asked.

"Oh n-nothing,"

"Callum stop lying to me, I heard the whole thing!" Ben said, growing agitated and Callum's face reflected the alarm that he felt inside. _Shit_ , he thought. 

"I-I,"

"What Callum, what have you done? 'Ben will find out, I'll lose him'. What. Have. You. Done?"

"Thompson he's been blackmailing me,"

"And why would you lose me over it?"

"Because he said he'd let you go, that he would get rid of the CCTV if I got your Dad sent down instead..." Callum blurted out, scared of Ben's reaction. He began to feel dizzy and weak at the knees, his vision blurred and his right arm numb.

"So what? You've been going behind mine and my Dad's back since, what, September!?" Ben raised his voice a bit, anger rising.

"I wa-was tryi-trying to prot-protect yo-you" Callum slurred, but in his frustration, Ben didn't pick up the fact that his boyfriend was having difficulty speaking.

"Protect me? Protect me!? You betrayed me, and you've betrayed my Dad!" And that's when it happened, Callum fell to the ground, his eyes rolling to the back of his head and he began to convulse. Ben dropped to his knees next to him.

"Callum! Callum!" he screamed, "Someone help! Someone help me! Please!" He looked around at the crowd of people gathering, stood there in shock, not doing anything. Suddenly, a figure started pushing through the crowd. Sonia. 

"Move everything out the way so he can't hit his head, and start a stopwatch, stop it when I tell you to," she ordered calmly.

"A stopwatch!?"

"Just do it Ben!" He pulled out his phone, started the timer and then proceeded to move everything in the close vicinity away from Callum's head, whilst Sonia put him into recovery position.

"Someone call an ambulance," Sonia shouted at the crowd. Jay pulled out his phone quickly, dialling 999 and speaking to the ambulance service.

The ambulance only took 5 minutes to arrive, but those 5 minutes were possibly the longest five minutes of Ben's life. He spent them trying to reassure himself and Callum, saying things along the line of, "You're gonna be okay," "Come on Cal, stay with me," "Please don't leave me," "I love you," and "You're gonna be just fine, the ambulance is on its way."

"Jay!" a shout came from the back of the crowd, and he retreated towards it, it was Lola, Lexi tagging along behind "What's going on?" 

He whispered in her ear, as to not alarm the small child standing right next to them, "It's Callum, he's having a seizure or something..."

"Uncle Jay, what's happening, we heard Daddy?" 

"It's nothing, don't you worry kiddo," he said, kneeling down to her height, and then looking back up at Lola, "you need to take her home, she can't see something like that." The street filled with the sound of sirens and the crowd parted, Lola pulling her daughter away before she could see the sight of Callum fitting, with her Dad sat by his side, begging him to hold on. Callum was put onto a stretcher and carried into the ambulance, still convulsing, Ben taking a final look at Jay before getting into the ambulance himself, the doors closing behind him.

"Was anyone timing it?" the paramedic asked, Ben pulled out his phone, showing it to her and staring at it himself. Callum had been fitting for about 8 minutes now, the paramedic immediately calling a medical emergency. A few minutes later, and Callum's seizure had stopped, he was breathing, but unconscious. Ben sat next to him, holding his hand the whole way. When they arrived, Ben was forced to wait in the reception of the hospital, with the promise that as soon as they had any news. So whilst he was waiting he made some calls, first to Stuart, next to Mick and Linda, letting them all know of the current situation, and then to Sonia, thanking her for her help, and finally to Jay, tears spilling from his eyes.

"It's my fault Jay,"

"How can it be? He had a seizure, how can that be your fault?"

"We were arguing, I was shouting at him, and seconds later he was on the floor. What if I lose him Jay... I can't go through that again..."

"Ben, I need to go, I've got a client, I'll be at the hospital when Coker's closes," Jay sighed, hanging up the phone. Stuart stood metres away, listening to the whole conversation, racing towards him, Ben still with his head in his hands.

"It was your fault! I told you you'd end up killing him like you did to Paul," he shouted, grabbing ben by the collar of his coat and shoving him against the walls of the waiting room.

"I know! I know..." Ben cried as hospital staff rushed to pull Stuart off of him.

"Sir, we need you to leave until you've calmed down," the receptionist said, pointing towards the door, Stuart went to protest, but looked at Ben's crying form and Mick and Linda stood there, giving him a look telling him to just leave. He turned around and walked back out of the hospital, going to calm down until someone came to let him know the state of his little brother. Mick walked over, pulling Ben into a hug, Linda watching the scene unfold.

"It's alright son, it's gonna be alright, it's not your fault, you couldn't have known that your argument would've caused this, and who says it even did, come on son, calm down," he looked at Linda as Ben began to stop crying. He lifted his head up and pulled away, sitting back down in his seat, not saying a word. Linda knelt down in front of him. 

"If the seizure was due to stress, you and him arguing can't have been the only thing stressing him out, plus lets be honest, he'd forgive you for anything he would, he loves you and he knows that you love him, anyone who has eyes can see that you love him," she said smiling, "ignore Stuart, he's scared, but that's still no excuse for what he said about Paul."

"How about we go and get some coffees, we might be here a while, you stay here, okay?" Mick suggested. Ben nodded. Ben sat there, watching the door that Callum had been rushed through, just waiting for someone, anyone, to come and tell him that his boyfriend was okay. After a few minutes someone did come out and was heading in his direction, he stood up instantly.

"Ben Mitchell?" 

"Yeah," he replied, wiping the tears from his cheeks. He could only imagine how he looks right now. 

"We've found a large blood clot in one of his brain's main arteries," Ben was stunned to silence, "unfortunately, the clot isn't responding to any of the medication and we're under a bit of pressure to get this done, as we don's have a lot of time..., we'd like to try a procedure called the clot retrieval surgery. We would feed a wire through an artery in his groin, up into the brain and pull the clot out. On one hand though, it is an experimental surgery and carries an element of risk,"

"What could happen..?" Ben asked, scared to know the answer.

"The clot could get pushed further into the brain, or the artery could be damaged in the process, we need permission from a family member to go forward with the operation," the doctor finished.

"Yeah, yeah, do it, if that's the only way," Ben said, nodding, the doctor retreating back into Theatre as Mick and Linda came back with the coffees and a single chocolate bar, passing it to Ben.

"What did they say?" Mick asked. And Ben explained it all, how the surgery worked and the possibility of complications, and now all they could do is wait. Mick went out to explain it all to Stuart, whilst Linda remained by Ben side, her hand resting on his arm in attempt to comfort him.

"He'll pull through, I know he will, he's a strong lad, he spent years touring Iraq with the army, and he survived that, a blood clot isn't gonna end him is it?" Linda's words of comfort put Ben's mind slightly at ease. Ben was in for a long night of worry and frustration towards himself.


	2. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Callum pulled through the surgery, but when Ben walks in, Callum is still in a bad way. Doctors don't know how long his recovery will take or the extent of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you think I need to add any warnings for this chapter just let me know

Jay comes rushing through the door at around 2pm, after closing Coker's early as they had no more clients for the day, Stuart is back inside and everyone is on the edge of their seats, waiting for news of whether the surgery went well or not.

"How is he?" Jay asks hurriedly.

"Still in surgery," Ben replies, sighing and feeling tired and defeated, "they've got to be careful with it being an experimental operation. I just want to see him, I want to know if he's okay or not." No more than 15 seconds later, the same doctor from before walked through the doors again.

"He's awake, the surgery went really well, no complications,"

"Can I go see him?" Ben queried hopefully.

"Yes, but I must warn you-" but before he could finish, Ben had ran through the doors, located Callum's room and burst in. The sight he walked in on was rather unpleasant and had him feeling sick to the stomach. Callum's face was colourless, he had an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose and he was hooked up to all sorts of medication. Ben's breath hitched, walking over cautiously, cupping Callum's cheek with his hand. He was cold as ice. The doctor followed him in, Mick not far behind.

"When Callum wakes, we don't know what he'll be able to do, whether he'll be able to speak or even remember who you are," Ben's eyes widened, looking down at his boyfriend's almost lifeless form. He didn't bother replying, he just sunk down into the chair next to the hospital bed and taking Callum's hand in his own.

"I'm here babe, I'm here," Ben said, brushing his thumb on the back of his hand before looking up at Mick and the doctor, "What if he doesn't wake up?"

"You've got to be positive, we all have," Ben nodded at that, "he talks about you all the time y'know, he loves you so much, he's gonna fight his way back to you,"

Ben had sat by Callum's bed for 5 hours now, it was now 7pm and Callum had had an influx of visitors whilst still asleep. Stuart had been in to see him, so had Linda, Lola had brought Lexi along.

"What's wrong with him Daddy?" she had asked.

"Callum's just not feeling very well that's all princess, don't worry, he'll be okay again soon," Lexi ran in for a hug, she didn't understand how severe Callum's condition was, but she could see that Ben was clearly upset by this and signed 'don't be sad' which made Ben smile slightly. Jay also came into the room for a bit, and even Phil turned up, which Ben was scared about why he was actually there. Had Jack told Phil about what Callum? Or had Callum's boss told him?

"Hey Dad," Ben said, warily.

"Hey, how's he doing?" 

"He had a blood clot in his brain, they did surgery, he's just non responsive at the minute,"

"Alright, just came to check on the both of you, I'll see you at home," and with that Phil was gone as quick as he'd came. In a way, Ben was relieved, he was sure that his dad would pick up on his uneasiness. But he knew that him and Callum would still have to tell Phil about what Thompson has been doing the past few months and he was scared for Callum. Yes, he knows that originally he shouted at him, argued with him, told him that he'd betrayed him, but he hadn't meant any of that, he loved Callum more than he could say, he just didn't understand. And now Callum is fighting for his life in a hospital bed, and Ben didn't know if he would even get to apologise for the way he acted. By 9pm, Ben was beginning to lose hope, but then he felt a twitch. Callum's hand had twitched! He looked up at him, but Callum didn't stir again, and Ben started to think that maybe in his desperacy he had just imagined it. That's when Callum's eyes flickered open slightly and he lightly squeezed Ben's hand again.

"Hey... Hey, you're okay, you're in hospital," Ben said softly, seeing the panic in his eyes. His eyes were still flickering and as the seconds went by it appeared as though it was becoming harder for him to keep his them open.

"I love you, can you hear me, I love you, I love you so much," Callum smiled weakly at the sentiment, "One minute, do you want me go and get anyone? Stuart?" Callum shook his head.

"Mick and Linda?" Another shake of his head.

"How about Lex?" At that, he nodded, only slightly.

"Babe... Can you talk?" Callum opened his mouth but no sound came out, "Alright, I'll be back in a second with the doctor and Lex," he smiled, walking out. Letting the doctor know that he was awake and then going to get Lexi, bringing her in. Ben told her to be gentle, not to hug him or anything yet as he might still be sore after his earlier 'accident'. Lexi agreed and rushed into the room.

"Cal!" she shouted loudly. Ben laughed to himself and watched as she talked to him about her day at school, though he couldn't reply.

"Daddy, can we get Callum a get well soon present?"

"Yeah sure, what do you think we should get him?"

"Ermmmm, a puppy!" Ben laughed shaking his head, the doctor chuckling a little bit too.

"We'll see, no promises though princess,"

"Yay!" 

Lola came in at about 10:30 to tell Ben that she needed to take Lexi home, though she protested. Ben nodded and turned to talk to Callum himself.

"I'm sorry, this was my fault..." He knew Callum wouldn't be able to tell him otherwise, so he just put it out there in the open. Callum still managed to shake his head.

"I thought I was going to lose you, I was so scared," he continued. He talked to Callum for another hour or so, telling him how much he loved him and how everyone else was so worried about him. By 11:30, Callum had fallen asleep, Ben stood up, kissed his forehead and sat back down to take hold of his hand again. When Mick walked in 15 or so minutes later, Ben was fast asleep, resting his head on the edge of Callum's bed, still clinging to his hand. He pulled Jay and Linda over to have a look and Linda couldn't stop herself from making a noise of admiration directed at the young lovers. They retreated back out the door and left them to sleep peacefully.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. 
> 
> All rights of characters go the EastEnders at the BBC.


End file.
